Parents are the caregivers and guides of children. The growth of a child cannot be separated from the care of parents, and the words and actions of parents influence the child's character and even determine their future development.
Raising a child is never a simple task, it requires continuous effort from parents.
But parents are also human beings, and they encounter various difficulties and frustrations every day. Sometimes they may lose control of their emotions and get angry at their children.
However, sometimes the speaker may not have ill intentions, but the listener may interpret it differently.
A careless remark from parents can deeply hurt a child and leave an indelible mark in their heart.
Parents need to know that some words are better left unsaid to their children, especially these two!
01: Words that belittle their children
In the book "Xunzi: On Honor and Disgrace," it says: "Therefore, kind words to others are as warm as blankets, while hurtful words are as sharp as spears and halberds."
Words can warm or hurt people, whether they are acquaintances or family members.
Many parents like to say things like:
"You've satisfied your own desires and feel relieved, but you've stabbed a dagger into your child's heart." This hurts the child's self-esteem, undermines their confidence, and may even lead to feelings of despair.
Psychologist Fairbairn said, "When children are treated poorly by their parents, in order to maintain the intention that their parents are good, they tend to believe that they themselves are bad."
Your words hide the future of your child.
If you call them stupid, they will show you what a real stupid person looks like and gradually become self-destructive.
If you praise their abilities, they will strive to become stronger and meet your expectations.
No matter how unbearable a child may be, please do not belittle or insult them. If even you, as their parents, cannot accept them, then where can they find a place to stand in this world?
02: Regretting having children
In the book "The Miracles of the Namiya General Store" by Keigo Higashino, a girl lives in an orphanage and one day she reads a news article in the newspaper.
It says that a woman named Kawabe Midori drove her car into the sea with a one-year-old baby. After investigation, it was found that the woman did not step on the brakes.
The girl is shocked because she is convinced that the woman involved in the accident, Kawabe Midori, is her mother.
She cannot help but doubt herself, thinking that if even her own mother believed she should have died long ago, then what value does she have in this world?
She repeatedly tries to commit suicide, and even when saved, she refuses to speak or eat, becoming thinner day by day.
It is not until a friend visits her and tells her the truth that she finally understands that her mother never regretted having her and did her best to raise her. The car accident was just an accident, and her mother sacrificed herself to save her.
Afterwards, she finds the courage to live and becomes a successful singer's manager, living a wonderful life.
Parents have the right to choose whether or not to have another child, but children cannot allow or disallow their parents to bring them into this world.
Even if children cannot meet their parents' expectations, do not say things like "I regret having you," as this can have a devastating impact on the child.
Being a parent is not an easy task, and just because you are a parent does not mean you can educate your child however you want.
What you say and do will influence your child, so be mindful of your language and behavior when educating your child.
Do not belittle your own child, and do not tell them that you regret bringing them into this world. Do not sow hatred in your child's heart with words that should not be said.